Dynamo Charlton (second window)

Manager: Mr Alex Bass (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Charlton Athletic

Reina, P LIV £9m
Assou-Ekotto, B TOT £6.5m
Warnock, S AVL £14m
Bridge, W SUN £9m
Hibbert, T EVE £5m
Barton, J QPR £9m
Hoolahan, W NOR £3m
Hunt, S WLV £0.5m
Ramsey, A ARS £2m
Drogba, D CHE £18m
Wellbeck, D MUN £14m
£90m
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Newington Reds (second window)

Manager: Mr Ben Dudley (ENG)

Since: 2005 (founder member)

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Liverpool

Kenny, P QPR £0.5m
Shawcross, R STO £9m
Jones, P MUN £22m
Riise, J FUL £8m
Vermaelen, T ARS £3m
Formica, M BLR £1.5m
Cahill, T EVE £11m
Nasri, S MCY £18m
Sinclair, S SWA £1.5m
Ba, D NEW £11m
Long, S WBA £0.5m
£86m
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Young Boys of Kilburn (second window)

Manager: Mr Andrew Denney (WAL)

Since: 2006

Trophy cabinet: league 2011

Sympathies: Spurs

Given, S AVL £8m
Kompany, V MCY £27m
Ferdinand, R MUN £0.5m
Cole, A CHE £28.5m
Taiwo, T QPR £0.5m
Gomez, J WIG £1m
Reo-Coker, N BOL £0.5m
Cabaye, Y NEW £0.5m
Chamberlain, A ARS £15m
Jelavic, N EVE £0.5m
Walters, J STO £15m
    £97m
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Spartak Mogadishu (second window)

Manager: Mr Abdi Ali (SOM)

Since: 2010

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Arsenal

Al Habsi, A WIG £6m
Hangeland, B FUL £14m
Distin, S EVE £8.5m
Smalling, C MUN £2.5m
Mertesacker, P ARS £10m
Richardson, K SUN £3m
Henderson, J LIV £6.5m
Jarvis, M WLV £10m
Bale, G TOT £23m
Graham, D SWA £11m
Cisse, P NEW £0.5m
£95m
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Vasco De Beauvoir (second window)

Vasco De Beauvoir made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr Alistair Drummond (ENG)

Since: 2005 (founder member)

Trophy cabinet: League winners in 2005, league and cup double in 2010

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Schwarzer, M FUL £0.5m
Young, L QPR £10m
Bosingwa, J CHE £14m
Hutton, A AVL £0.5m
Boyce, E WIG £0.5m
Pilkington, A NOR £10m
Nzonzi, S BLR £0.5m
Kuyt, D LIV £20m
Gardner, C SUN £3m
Aguero, S MCY £40m
Lita, L SWA £0.5m
£99.5m
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FC Testiculadew (second window)

FC Testiculadew made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr James Norris (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Everton

Szczesny, W ARS £2m
Kaboul, Y TOT £5.5m
O’Shea, J SUN £5.5m
Shorey, N WBA £0.5m
Clark, C AVL £0.5m
Mata, J CHE £31m
Dempsey, C FUL £5.5m
Fellaini, M EVE £4.5m
W-Phillips, S QPR £8m
Rooney, W MUN £28m
Dzeko, E MCY £5.5m
£96.5m
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DTS Grosvenor (second window)

The Dan Terry Seduction made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr Dan Terry (ENG)

Since: 2010

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Hart, J MCY £20m
Fabio MUN £1m
Elokobi, G WLV £0.5m
King, L TOT £0.5m
Martin, R NOR £0.5m
Tiote, C NEW £0.5m
Malouda, F CHE £26m
Larsson, S SUN £6.5m
Osman, L EVE £5m
Crouch, P STO £8m
Odemwingie, P WBA £19m
£87.5m
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Lurliners (second window)

Lurliners made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr Luke Jones (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Liverpool

Howard, T EVE £9m
Gibbs, K ARS £6m
Enrique, J LIV £5m
Taylor, S NEW £9m
Collins, J AVL £8m
Young, A MUN £17.5m
Modric, L TOT £13m
Muamba, F BOL £0.5m
Johnson, B NOR £2.5m
Di Santo, F WIG £11m
Fletcher, S WLV £0.5m
£82m
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Just Put Carles (second window)

Just Put Carles made no transfers in the first or second window

Manager: Mr Carles Duz (CAT)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona, Fulham

Cech, P CHE £20m
Wilson, M STO £0.5m
Ward, S WLV £0.5m
Robinson, P BOL £0.5m
Walker, K TOT £0.5m
Gerrard, S LIV £26.5m
Silva, D MCY £22m
Coleman, S EVE £2.5m
Anderson MUN £0.5m
Zamora, B QPR £15.5m
Chamakh, M ARS £1.5m
£90.5m
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Buys and lows

Monte Carlo Casino
Monte Carlo or bust: Headless Chickens bought Pavel Pogrebnyak for £14m

Despite the lack of seating there was no standing on ceremony at Friday’s auction.

Once the bidding was underway 30 players were sold in record time.

The high stakes of the Kenna aside early, managers were left to indulge in the comparatively risk-averse diversion of Leicester Square’s Empire Casino.

“An excellent turnout and a very professional operation indeed. Thank you to managers for making it such a memorable evening,” said the Chairman, trying to piece together events the next day from a wad of crumpled receipts in his wallet.

As is always the case after a transfer window, some new signings have jumped at the opportunity of a fresh start to take the game by the throat, while others…

Smash and grab raid of the window has to go to the Spartak Mogadishu boss, who picked up Papiss Demba Rodney Cisse for £500k.

“Yarrr! He be a fine vassal,” said the Spartak gaffer in a feudal moment.

Full teams and this week’s points will be available later in the week.

Most expensive buys

£15m

Ox-Chamberlain, A Young Boys
Pogrebnyak, P Headless Chickens

£14m

Sagna, B Lokomotiv Leeds

£13m

Cisse, D Pikey Scum

£12m

Pienaar, S Bala Rinas
Pennant, J Thieving Magpies

£11m

Morison, S Headless Chickens
Graham, D Spartak Mogadishu
Cahill, T Newington Reds

£10m

The Yak Bala Rinas

 

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