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FC Testiculadew became the first team to win three Kenna League titles in the 20-year history of the league.
Testiculadew – £160 (Champions: £150, MOTMx1: £10)
Test Team (please ignore) – £50 (Runner up)
Young Boys – £25 (Third place)
Chairman’s XI – £20 (Wenger Trophy: £10, MOTMx1: £10)
Don’t Know Yet – £10 (MOTM)
Clotted Cream First – £10 (MOTM)
Since: 2011
Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner
Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th
2018/19 – 17th
2019/20 – 10th
2020/21 – 4th
Sympathies: Everton
Auction attendance: in the pub / absent, silent bidder / absent, complete autofill
| GK | Martinez | AVL | 5 |
| DF | Maguire | MUN | 5 |
| DF | Chilwell | CHE | 9 |
| DF | Romero | TOT | 5 |
| DF | Konate | LIV | 0.5 |
| MF | Sterling | MCY | 13 |
| MF | Zaha | CRY | 7 |
| MF | Bowen | WHY | 0.5 |
| MF | JWP | SOT | 10 |
| ST | DCL | EVE | 12 |
| ST | Auba | ARS | 19 |
| Total | £86m |
Manager: The Dark Lord
International form
2006 Claudio Caniggia World Cup – n/a
2008 John Jensen Euros – n/a
2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup – n/a
2012 Emanuel Olisadebe Euros – 2/14
2014 Emerson World Cup – 1/18 *winner*
2016 Jean Alain Boumsong Euros – 1/18 *winner*
2018 Dimitri Kharine World Cup – 5/16
Sympathies: England/Slovakia
| GK | Krul | NED | 0.5 |
| DF | Rudiger | GER | 5 |
| DF | Cancelo | POR | 11 |
| DF | Skriniar | SLO | 0.5 |
| DF | Digne | FRA | 0.5 |
| MF | Olmo | SPA | 0.5 |
| MF | Sterling | ENG | 1 |
| MF | Modric | CRO | 6 |
| ST | Lukaku | BEL | 37 |
| ST | Yilmaz | TUR | 7 |
| ST | Immobile | ITA | 7 |
| Total | 76 |
Since: 2011
Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner
Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th
2018/19 – 17th
2019/20 – 10th
Sympathies: Everton
| Alisson | LIV | £ 0.50 |
| Lucas Digne | EVE | £ 7.00 |
| Eric Dier | TOT | £ 5.00 |
| Timothy Castagne | LEI | £ 7.00 |
| Gabriel | ARS | £ 0.50 |
| Ross Barkley | AVA | £ 5.00 |
| Hakim Ziyech | CHE | £ 10.00 |
| Wilfried Zaha | CRY | £ 16.00 |
| Dwight McNeil | BUR | £ 0.50 |
| Anthony Martial | MUN | £ 25.00 |
| Gabriel Jesus | MCI | £ 14.00 |
| £ 90.50 |
| Alisson | LIV | £ 0.50 |
| Lucas Digne | EVE | £ 7.00 |
| Eric Dier | TOT | £ 5.00 |
| Timothy Castagne | LEI | £ 7.00 |
| Gabriel | ARS | £ 0.50 |
| Matheus Pereira | WBA | £ 8.00 |
| Hakim Ziyech | CHE | £ 10.00 |
| Wilfried Zaha | CRY | £ 16.00 |
| Dwight McNeil | BUR | £ 0.50 |
| Anthony Martial | MUN | £ 25.00 |
| Gabriel Jesus | MCI | £ 14.00 |
| £ 93.50 |
| Alisson | LIV | £ 15.00 |
| Cancelo, J | MCY | £ 0.50 |
| Williams, B | MUN | £ 0.50 |
| van Aanholt, P | CRY | £ 5.00 |
| Lascelles, J | NEW | £ 0.50 |
| Barnes, H | LEI | £ 0.50 |
| Richarlison | EVE | £ 23.00 |
| Hudson-Odoi, C | CHE | £ 3.00 |
| Bergwijn, S | TOT | £ 0.50 |
| Martinelli, G | ARS | £ 0.50 |
| Pukki, T | NOR | £ 2.00 |
| £ 60.00 |
Manager: James N (Yorkshire)
Since: 2011
Home ground: Scrotrot Street
Training facility: The Death Star
Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner
Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th
Sympathies: Everton
Darts music: The Imperial March (Family Guy elevator remix)
Starting budget: £15.5m
Spend: £8m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £7.5m
| Arrizabalaga, K | CHE | £14.00 |
| Otto, J (TW1) | WLV | £8.00 |
| Mina, Y | EVE | £0.50 |
| Zabaleta, P | WHM | £0.50 |
| Mee, B | BUR | £4.00 |
| Meyer, M | CRY | £0.50 |
| Ozil, M | ARS | £21.00 |
| Elyounoussi, M | SOT | £0.50 |
| Gundogan, I | MCY | £3.00 |
| Lukaku, R | MUN | £41.00 |
| Iheanacho, K | LEI | £6.50 |
| £98.50 |
| Arrizabalaga, K | CHE | £14.00 |
| Clyne, N | LIV | £3.00 |
| Mina, Y | EVE | £0.50 |
| Zabaleta, P | WHM | £0.50 |
| Mee, B | BUR | £4.00 |
| Meyer, M | CRY | £0.50 |
| Ozil, M | ARS | £21.00 |
| Elyounoussi, M | SOT | £0.50 |
| Gundogan, I | MCY | £3.00 |
| Lukaku, R | MUN | £41.00 |
| Iheanacho, K | LEI | £6.50 |
| £94.50 |
| Pickford, J | ENG | £ 5.00 |
| Rojo, M | ARG | £ 0.50 |
| Meunier, T | BEL | £ 0.50 |
| Kolarov, A | SRB | £ 0.50 |
| Reus, M | GER | £ 8.00 |
| Willian | BRA | £ 5.00 |
| Lemar, T | FRA | £ 9.00 |
| Dzagoev, A | RUS | £ 3.00 |
| Ronaldo, C | POR | £ 41.00 |
| Lewandowski, R | POL | £ 23.00 |
| Costa, D | ESP | £ 0.50 |
| £ 96.00 |
Manager: James N (Yorkshire)
Since: 2011
Home ground: Scrotrot Street
Training facility: The Death Star
Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner
Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
Sympathies: Everton
Darts music: The Imperial March (Family Guy elevator remix)
What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: The Dark Lord of the Kenna could sign eleven Titus Brambles and still be in the title race mix come April – 12/1
| Cech, P | ARS | £ 7.00 |
| Matip, J | LIV | £3.00 |
| Fuchs, C | LEI | £0.50 |
| Rose, D | TOT | £0.50 |
| Coleman, S | EVE | £0.50 |
| Tadic, D | SOT | £9.00 |
| Arnautovic, M | WHM | £8.00 |
| Gundogan, I | MCY | £6.00 |
| Barkley, R (TW2 – from Piss Poor) | CHE | £0.50 |
| Lukaku, R | MUN | £41.00 |
| Benteke, C (TW2) | CRY | £18.00 |
| £94m |
Player sales: Sandro Ramirez to Judean Peoples’ Front for £0.5m
| Cech, P | ARS | £ 7.00 |
| Matip, J | LIV | £3.00 |
| Fuchs, C | LEI | £0.50 |
| Rose, D | TOT | £0.50 |
| Coleman, S | EVE | £0.50 |
| Arnautovic, M | WHM | £8.00 |
| Chadli, N | WBA | £4.00 |
| Gundogan, I | MCY | £6.00 |
| Tadic, D | SOT | £9.00 |
| Batshuayi, M | CHE | £0.50 |
| Lukaku, R | MUN | £41.00 |
| £80m |
| Cech, P | ARS | £ 7.00 |
| Matip, J | LIV | £3.00 |
| Fuchs, C | LEI | £0.50 |
| Rose, D | TOT | £0.50 |
| Tadic, D | SOT | £9.00 |
| Arnautovic, M | WHM | £8.00 |
| Chadli, N | WBA | £4.00 |
| Gundogan, I | MCY | £6.00 |
| Lukaku, R | MUN | £41.00 |
| Ramirez, S | EVE | £15.00 |
| Berahino, S | STO | £3.00 |
| £97.00 |
Manager: James N (Yorkshire)
Since: 2011
Home ground: Scrotrot Street
Training facility: The Death Star
Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner
Kenna Index rating: 0.137 – 1st
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
Sympathies: Everton
Darts music: Space March – John Barry
| Heaton, T | BUR | £ 0.50 |
| Cathcart, C (TW1) | WAT | £ 5.00 |
| Walker, K | TOT | £ 10.00 |
| Fuchs, C | LEI | £ 6.00 |
| Silva, D | MCY | £ 14.00 |
| Stuart Hall (TW1) | HMP Kenna | £ 12.50 |
| Iwobi, A | ARS | £ 2.00 |
| Hojbjerg, P (TW1) | SOT | £ 0.50 |
| Hazard, E | CHE | £ 2.00 |
| Hernandez, A | HUL | £ 3.00 |
| Ibrahimovic, Z | MUN | £ 31.00 |
| £ 86.50 |
In
Adam Smith – Bournemouth defender – £5m
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – £0.5m
Etienne Capoue – Watford midfielder – £9m
Out
Craig Cathcart – Watford defender – free
Stuart Hall – HMP Kenna midfielder – free
Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg – Southampton midfielder – free
Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £9m
In
Calum Chambers – Boro defender – £2m
Gini Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – £16m (the ISIL manager had lost him under the Titus Bramble ruling)
Out
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – free
Abel Hernandez – Hull striker – free
Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £1m
Manager: James N
Nationality: Le Rosbif
International honours: 2014 Emerson World Cup champions
Formation: 3-4-3
| Neuer, M | GER | £16m |
| Cahill, G | ENG | £5m |
| Corluka, V | CRO | £0.5m |
| Piszczek, L | POL | £0.5m |
| Turan, A | TUR | £8m |
| Alcantara, T | ESP | £13m |
| Dzsudzsak, B | HUN | £0.5m |
| Kucka, J | SVK | £0.5m |
| Lukaku, R | BEL | £25m |
| Yarmolenko, A | UKR | £5m |
| Griezmann, A | FRA | £19m |
| £93m |
