The Jeff Kenna League

Kenna HQ has been described as ‘meddling blazers’ after changing their mind on the Manger of the Month awards within 24 hours.

Yesterday the Kenna announced MOTMs would be reduced from 10 to four per season. Today they’ve changed that to five.

‘The new structures provides clear segmentation of the season so managers can gauge performance at key dates,’ blathered on the chairman.

The season will be split into five segments, with the top performing managers claiming double the previous MOTM cash prize, up to £20.

The prize money shakeup includes higher rewards for finishing in the top four, and increases the total pot by a ‘whopping’ £50.

Legacy Award – most points scored until September/October international break

Noel Whelan Award – most points scored between September/October and November international breaks

Aaron Winter Award – most points scored between November international break and February transfer window

Mr B. Oddie Award – most points scored between the window and March international break

Kevin Keegan Award – most points scored between March and the end of season.

Prize money 2026/27

Winner – £150

Runner up – £75

Third place – £40

Wenger Trophy – £20

Segmented performance awards – £20 x 5

Bidding in absentia changes

Kenna HQ also unveiled a new reserved bidding process for managers unable to attend Saturday’s auction in person.

‘Instead of silent bids we are introducing reserved bids, which let’s be honest was how we were doing silent bids anyway,’ sighed the chairman.

‘Now there will be full transparency at the start of the auction who those slacker absentees are interested in. We’ll get them out the way early doors.’

Keen observers of the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league are looking forward to a new voting system if there is an identical winning bid on a player from two absentees.

‘We’ll put it to a vote,’ said the chairman. ‘Those present can vote which manager should get the player. Behaviour at previous auctions and attitudes towards helping out with with the admin or hammer can all be deciding factors on whether a manager wins.’

• A maximum of four reserved bids can be made before the auction – one goalkeeper, one defender, one midfielder, one striker
• Positions as per the usual source
• Up to £50m can be bid on each player. We will ensure no over budget Brambles. All other Bramble rules apply.
• Reserved bids can be shared privately or publicly.
• Once published/shared a reserved bid cannot be retracted. Any attempt to retract a bid, privately or publicly, will result in the bid being voided.
• Deadline 12pm Saturday to submit reserved bids.
• Reserved bid players will all be sold off after the stickers. If a reserved lot has already been signed as a sticker pack player, the sticker pack takes precedence.

The 19th annual Kenna League auction takes place in The Mitre Lancaster Gate this Saturday (16 September).

Refined over the last 18 years, rules for the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league are laid out below.

While ‘Bramble rules’ are well known, managers should pay particular attention their obligations under new bidding rules, and to the new sin bin process.

The Titus Bramble ruling is further clarified, particularly the grey area which previously existed around Brambling when a bid is live, which shall be known as ‘grey’ Brambling.

The trading card packs section has the potential to seriously manipulate the auction market. The competitive Kenna manager ought to make themself familiar with this twist on the tried and tested ‘World Cup sticker packs’ game.

Contents

1. Bramble rules
2. Bidding rules
3. Titus Bramble ruling
4. ‘Grey’ Brambling
5. Sin bin – process
6. Sin bin – auction offences
7. Sin bin – pub offences
8. Autofill
9. Trading card packs
10. Transfer window

1. Bramble rules

1. £100m budget
2. 4-4-2
3. No more than one player from a PL club
4. Lowest value for a player is £0.5m
5. No bidding £0.5m after £1m
6. Positions as per the newspaper fantasy football competition

2. Bidding rules

1. Managers take it in turns to introduce players to auction, starting to the auctioneer’s left
2. Once the last player sale is recorded, the next manager has 20 seconds to introduce a player name (plus position and club if asked by the auctioneer) or they will be sin binned.
3. The manager should only give one name in the 20-second timeframe. Saying a name then quickly retracting it will get the manager sin binned.
4. Every manager must introduce a player in each round, with the exception of the auctioneer.
5. If a manager tries to introduce a player outside of his 20-second timeframe, either before the last player sale is recorded or when it is not his turn, they will get sin binned.
6. Any manager bidding point five after £1m will get sin binned.

3. Titus Bramble ruling

1. Ilegal player returned to the pot and manager fined half the value paid
2. Space filled with Bramble player
3. Two players from the same PL club – more expensive player removed
4. Too many players in one position – last purchase returned to the pot, most expensive player in the position returned to the pot, manager fined half the value of the latter, space filled with Bramble player
5. Manager goes over budget – most expensive player returned to the pot, manager fined half the value paid, space filled with Bramble player
6. The Titus Bramble ruling is only triggered once the hammer has come down on a player sale. 
7. Once the TB ruling details are confirmed the offending manager is sin binned.

4. ‘Grey’ Brambling

There is a grey area in the TB ruling when a manager either introduces a player or bids on a player that would trigger the Titus Bramble ruling if signed. This is shall be known as ‘grey’ Brambling, and the following rules are introduced to deter it:

1. If a manager makes a grey Bramble bid all other managers should stop bidding so the hammer can come down and the TB ruling is triggered
2. If a manager has made a grey Bramble bid, but another manager has outbid him, the bid stays live and the grey Brambler is sin binned after the player is eventually sold
3. If a manager makes a grey Bramble bid and no one notices, the manager is free from any reprisals after the hammer comes down on that player.

5. Sin bin – process

1. Only the chairman, or a second chosen by the chairman, can sin bin a manager
2. If a manager is sin binned they cannot bid on any players for 10 minutes
3. If the manager chooses to remain in the auction room while sin binned they cannot take a seat at the table, they must sit in the designated area in the corner of the room. The 10 minutes starts when the manager sits in the sin bin or leaves the room
4. If a manager spots someone committing a sin bin offence they can bring this to the attention of the chairman, but must do so in a polite manner

6. Sin bin – auction offences

1. Quickly retracting a bid
2. Triggering the Titus Bramble forfeit
3. Buying a player no longer in the Premier League
4. Buying a player with a long-term injury
5. Asking the auctioneer any questions during bidding
6. Bidding point five after £1m (even in jest)
7. Signing Erling Haaland
8. Bidding while on the pavement outside the pub
9. Attempting to introduce a player before the last sale is recorded
10. Attempting to introduce a player when it’s not your turn
11. Taking more than 20 seconds to introduce a player when it’s your turn
12. Failing to meet a request from the chairman

7. Sin bin – pub offences

1. Buying a one-drink round
2. Switching the TV from the agreed channel
3. The team you support scores a goal – doesn’t apply if you’re in the sin bin
4. Sexually assaulting a professional footballer
5. Dismembering a journalist

8. Autofill

1. If a manager finishes the auction with spaces in their team, those spaces will be autofilled by charts and graphs at a value of £0.5m per player.
2. At the February transfer window, all autofilled players have a buyout clause of £0.5m.

9. Trading card packs

1. At various intervals in the auction (decided by the chairman) official PL trading card packs will be sold. The packs contain six players.
2. The manager with the highest bid can choose which player to sign from the six in the pack. Bramble rules apply.
3. If one of the players in the pack has already been signed by another manager (Manager B), either from a previous pack or after a routine bid, the manager who bought the pack (Manager A) can compulsory purchase that player for the value paid for the pack. Manager B will either make or lose money from the sale depending on how much they initially paid for the player.
4. The difference in value between what Manager B paid and what Manager A paid for a compulsory purchased player determines that player’s buyout clause at the February window.

10. Transfer window

1. The transfer window takes place on the first Saturday in February (3 February 2024)
2. Managers must send the chairman their players to be released by midday on Friday 2 February
3. There are no transfer bonuses, so managers only take what is left of their £100m at auction, plus any money generated from player sales at the window
4. Autofill players have a buyout clause of £0.5m
5. Compulsory purchase players have a buyout clause agreed at the auction (see rule 9.4)
6. A manager cannot re-sign a player they have released that season, but they can sign a player compulsory purchased from them at the auction if they can meet the buyout clause.
7. The league champions are crowned in May. The eleven players in a manager’s team post-transfer window start scoring points for next season from August. Ahead of the September auction all players are released.
8. Auction absentees not submitting silent bids will receive an average remaining budget of all other managers for the transfer window.