The nerve

British security services have been placed on high alert after military-grade nerve agent was found in preparations for the Dmitri Kharine Russia World Cup auction.

The incident happened at the Fiddlers Harris training facility of Kenna League outfit Young Boys of Vauxhall. The club manager, and Kenna vice chairman, is ‘organising’ the June auction.

Several people in and around Fiddlers Harris were treated by paramedics. Emergency services are yet to confirm which of those was affected by the nerve agent and which were people thrown out of Vauxhall clubs with a barbiturates overdose.

The Young Boys manager was taken to hospital as a precaution. Initially doctors thought exposure to the toxic substance had left the manager with curious psychological side effects, but club officials confirmed he’d always been like that.

The attack has sparked a diplomatic row between the UK and Russia with diplomats expelled from both countries. Nevertheless, Number 10 and the Kremlin released a joint statement expressing relief the Dmitri Kharine auction is still set to go ahead.

Said to be planned for Tuesday 12 June, the Kharine auction will be the earliest in the working week since the Emmanuel Olisadebe Euros auction six years ago.

On that occasion in 2012 the Pirate resigned, tactical Brambling was born and managers almost came to blows.


Krakow Cup last 16 – second leg (last week)

AJFC 35 (74) – 44 (101) Walthamstow Reds
Bala Rinas 28 (32) – 24 (48) Young Boys
Lokomotiv Leeds 16 (55) – 25 (57) Thieving Magpies
Sleptember XI 18 (39) – 41 (76) Pikey Scum

Piss Poor 24 (54) – 18 (46) JPF
Dynamo Charlton 35 (62) – 37 (65) Wandsworth Network Solutions
Don’t Know Yet 35 (52) – 30 (64) The Pirate
No Fiesta without Iniesta 20 (59) – 34 (63) Burqini Pool Party

Quarter final fixtures – first leg on 2 April

Walthamstow Reds v Young Boys
Thieving Magpies v Pikey Scum
Piss Poor v Wandsworth Network Solutions
The Pirate v Don’t Know Yet

Kenna table – week 29

Kenna week 29 - 20 March 2018
Kenna week 29 – 20 March 2018

Kenna table – week 28

Kenna week 28 - 13 March 2018
Kenna week 28 – 13 March 2018


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Football ponders ‘ghost’ cup draw

MYSTERY surrounds the Krakow Cup knockout draw. No one saw it.

First leg results of the round of last 16 were published today, but no Kenna League manager remembers seeing the draw made when the usual custom is for three people, sometimes four, to watch the draw live on social media.

Kenna HQ remains tightlipped about how the teams were chosen to play each other.

Pikey Scum kept their chances of a double open with a strong showing over the struggling Sleptember XI.

Defender Lewis Dunk took his goal/own goal tally up to -3  to extend Scum’s lead in the league over Two Goals One Cup in second, closely followed by Lokomotiv Leeds in third.

Krakow Cup last 16 – first leg

AJFC 39 – 57 Walthamstow Reds
Bala Rinas 4 – 24 Young Boys
Lokomotiv Leeds 39 – 32 Thieving Magpies
Sleptember XI 21 – 36 Pikey Scum

Piss Poor 30 – 28 JPF
Dynamo Charlton 27 – 28 Wandsworth Network Solutions
Don’t Know Yet 27 – 34 The Pirate
No Fiesta without Iniesta 39 – 29 Burqini Pool Party

Kenna week 27

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 27 - 6 March 2018
Kenna week 27 – 6 March 2018

Kenna week 26

Kenna week 26 - 27 February 2018
Kenna week 26 – 27 February 2018
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