The Horn of Africa

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Somalia

Domestic club side: Spartak Mogadishu

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 13th (out of 15)

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling)

Sifakis, M Greece £0.5m
Pepe Portugal £5m
Piszczek, L Poland £16m
Shishkin, R Russia £4m
Olsson, M Sweden £7.5m
de Jong, N (TB) Holland £0.5m
Khedira, S Germany £13m
Busquets, S Spain £18m
Eriksen, C Denmark £12m
Carroll, A England £12m
Di Natale, A Italy £7.5m
Total £96m
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Every Pole’s a Goal

Manager: Lewis

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Bala Rinas

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: Did not enter
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: 6th (out of eight)

4-4-2

Lloris, H France £12m
van der Wiel, G Holland £15m
Šimunic, J Croatia £0.5m
Kucher, O Ukraine £0.5m
Wawrzyniak, J Poland £0.5m
Hernández, X Spain £20m
Pirlo, A Italy £8.5m
Gerrard, S England £20m
Veloso, M Portugal £0.5m
Klose, M Germany £15m
Arshavin, A Russia £0.5m
Total £93m
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Don’t Know Yet

Manager: Ball (“‘B’, ‘A’, double ‘L'”)

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: N/A

Tournament history: Debut Kenna manager

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling. Strike denotes player not taking part in tournament)

Pyatov, A Ukraine £1m
Badstuber, H Germany £9m
Criscito, D Italy £1.5m
Jacobsen, L Denmark £0.5m
Rolando Portugal £0.5m
Lampard, F England £9.5m
Robben, A Holland £33m
Malouda, F France £5m
Pranjic, D Croatia £13m
Torres, F Spain £21m
Samaras, G (TB) Greece £0.5m
Total £94.5m
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The Eurosceptics

Manager: Alex

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Dynamo Charlton

Tournament history: International debut

4-4-2

Cech, P Czech Republic £12m
Alba, J Spain £20m
Terry, J England £11m
Alves, B Portugal £5m
Papadopoulos, K Greece £9m
van der Vaart, R Holland £7m
McGeady, A Rep of Ireland £4.5m
Källström, K Sweden £10m
Cabaye, Y France £0.5m
Podolski, L Germany £7m
Cassano, A Italy £7m
Total £93m
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Just Put Warsaw

Manager: Carles

Nationality: Catalunya

Domestic club side: Just Put Carles

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumlo 2010 World Cup: 4th (out of 15)

4-4-2

De Sanctis, M Italy £0.5m
Jones, P England £5m
Mexès, P France £8.5m
Gebreselassie, T Czech Republic £5.5m
Arbeloa, A Spain £11m
Moutinho, J Portugal £11m
Duff, D Rep of Ireland £4m
Katsouranis, K Greece £3m
van Bommel, M Holland £4.5m
Müller, T Germany £8m
Jelavic, N Croatia £21m
 Total £82m
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Bunga Bunga Euro Tour

Manager: John

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Headless Chickens

Tournament history: International debut

(Strike denotes player not travelling to tournament)

4-4-2

Neuer, M Germany £15m
Heitinga, J Holland £8.5m
Wojtkowiak, G Poland £0.5m
Berezutski, A Russia £0.5m
Cahill, G England £0.5m
Iniesta, A Spain £29m
De Rossi, D Italy £8m
Ribéry, F France £21m
Larsson, S Sweden £8.5m
Postiga, H Portugal £7.5m
Eduardo Croatia £0.5m
Total £99.5m
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Hoodyanika Bolokov

Manager: Jack

Nationality: England

Club side: Pikey Scum

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 14th (out of 15)
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros – 6th (out of 8)
  • Claudio Caniggia 2006 World Cup – Winner

4-4-2

Hart, J England £14m
Lahm, P Germany £11m
Ignashevich, S Russia £7.5m
Barzagli, A Italy £0.5m
Dunne, R Rep of Ireland £0.5m
Kranjcar, N Croatia £2m
Silva, D Spain £5.5m
Rosický, T Czech Republic £7.5m
Husyev, O Ukraine £0.5m
van Persie, R Holland £38m
Rémy, L France £0.5m
 Total £87.5m
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Polonia Forsyth (second window)

Manager: Miss Claire Forsyth (SCO)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Aberdeen, Spurs

Vorm, M SWA £0.5m
Vidic, N MUN £27m
Coloccini, F NEW £5m
Dunne, R AVL £5m
Neville, P EVE  £0.5m
Watson, B WIG £0.5m
Arteta, M ARS £12m
Petrov, M BOL £6m
Delap, R STO £10m
Balotelli, M MCY £25m
Hoilett, D BLR £0.5m
    £93.5m
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Superfuzz (second window)

Manager: Mr Pete Edwards

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Southampton

Krul, T NEW £0.5m
Kyrgiakos, S SUN £0.5m
Baines, L EVE £11m
Ivanovic, B CHE £0.5m
Dawson, M TOT £0.5m
Nani MUN £32m
Johnson, A MCY £9.5m
Dyer, N SWA £0.5m
Petrov, S AVL £0.5m
Holt, G NOR £3.5m
Suarez, L LIV £28m
£87m
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Thieving Magpies (second window)

Manager: Mr Phil Davis (ENG)

Since: 2005 (founder member)

Trohpy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Notts County

Robinson, P BLR £4m
Terry, J CHE £28m
Lescott, J MCY £10m
Agger, D LIV £10m
Olsson, J WBA £0.5m
Sidwell, S FUL £0.5m
Gibson, D EVE £1m
Pennant, J STO £0.5m
Park, Ji-Sung MUN £0.5m
Bent, D AVL £32m
Saha, L TOT £0.5m
£99m
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