Euro 2012 country guides – Group C

Immediately identify which Olisadebe players are taking part in Poland and Ukraine, with these useful country guides.

The guides do not include players not travelling to the tournament.

‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling.

Spain

Casillas, I GK Everybody Gdansk Now £18m
Arbeloa, A DF Just Put Warsaw £11m
Pique, G DF Testiculadewland £25m
Ramos, S DF Bwing on the Euwos £20m
Alba, J DF The Eurosceptics £20
Silva, D MF Hoodyanika Bolokov £5.5m
Hernandez, X MF Every Pole’s a Goal £20m
Mata, J MF Chernobyl Forlov £.05m
Iniesta, A MF Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £29m
Busquets, S MF The Horn of Africa £18m
Alonso, X MF Utoya Island XI £3m
Fabregas, C MF Just FEMEN £10m
Torres, F ST Don’t Know Yet £21m

Italy

Buffon, G GK Bwing on the Euwos £19m
De Sanctis, M GK Just Put Warsaw £0.5m
Barzagli, A DF Hoodyanika Bolokov £0.5m
Chiellini, G DF Chernobyl Forlov £12m
Bonucci, L DF Testiculadewland £6.5m
Ranocchia, A DF Utoya Island XI £0.5m
Maggio, C MF Make Party £15m
Pirlo, A MF Every Pole’s a Goal £8.5m
De Rossi, D MF Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £8m
Cassano, A ST The Eurosceptics £7m
Di Natale ST The Horn of Africa £7.5m
Balotelli, M ST Just FEMEN £19m

Croatia

Pletikosa, S GK Chernobyl Forlov £0.5m
Corluka, V DF Make Party £1.5m
Simunic, J DF Every Pole’s a Goal £0.5m
Pranjic, D MF Don’t Know Yet £13m
Kranjcar, N MF Hoodyanika Bolokov £2m
Srna, D MF Everybody Gdansk Now £7m
Mandzukic, N MF Bwing on the Euwos £14m
Modric, L MF Just FEMEN £10m
Jelavic, N ST Just Put Warsaw £21m
Eduardo ST Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £0.5m

Republic of Ireland

Given, S GK Utoya Island XI £3.5m
Dunne, R DF Hoodyanika Bolokov £0.5m
O’Shea, J DF Just FEMEN £4m
Hunt, S MF Chernobyl Forlov £0.5m
Duff, D MF Just Put Warsaw £4m
McGeady, A MF The Eurosceptics £4.5m
Keane, R ST Make Party £0.5m

Group A

Group B

Group D

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Euro 2012 country guides – Group B

Immediately identify which Olisadebe players are taking part in Poland and Ukraine, with these useful country guides.

The guides do not include players not travelling to the tournament.

‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling.

Netherlands

Stekelenburg, M GK Just FEMEN £13m
Heitinga, J DF Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £8.5m
Mathijsen, J DF Testiculadewland £0.5m
van der Wiel, G DF Every Pole’s a Goal £15m
de Jong, N MF The Horn of Africa £0.5m
van der Vaart, R MF The Eurosceptics £7m
Sneijder, W MF Make Party £30m
Robben, A MF Don’t Know Yet £33m
van Bommel, M MF Just Put Warsaw £4.5m
van Persie, R ST Hoodyanika Bolokov £38m
Huntelaar, KJ ST Cherbnobyl Forlov £22m
Kuyt, D ST Bwing on the Euwos £8m

Germany

Neuer, M GK Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £15m
Mertesacker, P DF Utoya Island XI £0.5m
Boateng, J DF Make Party £0.5m
Lahm, P DF Hoodyanika Bolokov £11m
Badstuber, H DF Don’t Know Yet £9m
Hummels, M DF Everybody Gdansk Now £18m
Schweinsteiger, B MF Just FEMEN £17m
Khedira, S MF The Horn of Africa £13m
Gotze, M MF Bwing on the Euwos £0.5m
Ozil, M MF Testiculadewland £11m
Klose, M ST Every Pole’s a Goal £15m
Gomez, M ST Chernobyl Forlov £32m
Muller, T ST Just Put Warsaw £8m
Podolski, L ST The Eurosceptics £7m

Denmark

Jacobson, L DF Don’t Know Yet £0.5m
Agger, D DF Just FEMEN £3m
Eriksen, C MF The Horn of Africa £12m
Lovenkrands, P ST Utoya Island XI £0.5m
Bendtner, N ST Everybody Gdansk Now £10m

Portugal

Pepe DF The Horn of Africa £5m
Rolando DF Don’t Know Yet £0.5m
Alves, B DF The Eurosceptics £5m
Contrao, F DF Testiculadewland £2.5m
Miereles, R MF Everybody Gdansk Now £4.5m
Moutinho, J MF Just Put Warsaw £11m
Veloso, M MF Every Pole’s a Goal £0.5m
Quaresma, R MF Just FEMEN £4m
Nani MF Make Party £15m
Ronaldo, C ST Utoya Island XI £28m
Postiga, H ST Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £7.5m

Group A

Group C

Group D

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Psychic owl to pick hoot Euro 2012 results

Click here to watch Barney the Psychic Owl make a prediction
Hoot will win: Watch Barney the Psychic Owl make a prediction

A CLAIRVOYANT owl that will pick the results of Euro 2012 football matches has been unveiled today in London.

Barney the Psychic Owl will predict the winners of games every tournament match day in Poland and Ukraine at 4pm.

Emmanuel Olisadebe European Cup organisers, who own the mystic bird, insist this is in no way a publicity stunt.

“Like Paul the Octopus in 2010, Barney the Psychic Owl is set to become one the prevailing features of the tournament. We’re very proud to be associated with him and any additional television revenue he brings,” said an Olisadebe spokesman at the launch.

It would appear Barney’s predictions are made through a series of screeches and eye signals.

Asked to interpret these signs at the launch event, organisers were evasive.

“Barney can not only call the results of football matches, but also pick winners at the track. The dark-haired fellow in Wood Green Weatherspoon’s who sold it to us was very explicit about that and also very convincing,” continued the spokesman, showing the nonplussed novelty runners in the 4.15 at Uttoxeter.

Watch Barney the Psychic Owl make his latest prediction here

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Everybody Gdansk Now

Manager: Ben

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Newington Reds

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: did not enter
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: 2nd (out of eight)
  • Claudio Caniggia 2006 World Cup: 3rd (out of eight)

4-4-2

Casillas, I Spain £18m
Johnson, G England £7m
Hubnik, R Czech Republic £8m
Mellberg, O Sweden £12m
Hummels, M Germany £18m
Debuchy, M France £0.5m
Srna, D Croatia £7m
Ninis, S Greece £2m
Meireles, R Portugal £4.5m
Bendter, N Denmark £10m
Lewandowski, R Poland £13m
£100m
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Testiculadewland

Manager: James

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: FC Testiculadew

Tournament history: International debut

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling. Strike denotes player not travelling to tournament)

Szczesny, W Poland £0.5m
Piqué, G Spain £25m
Coentrão, F Portugal £2.5m
Bonucci, L Italy £6.5m
Mathijsen, J Holland £0.5m
Tziolis, A (TB) Greece £0.5m
Oxlade-Chamberlain, A England £0.5m
Özil, M Germany £11m
Konoplyanka, Y Ukraine £0.5m
Ibrahimovic, Z Sweden £20m
Benzema, K France £17m
  Total £84.5m
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Tziolis ruling ‘not for footballing reasons’

FCT manager at the auction
Testiculadewland manager at the auction

TESTICULADEWLAND have lost their appeal to replace Alexandros Tziolis with another player ahead of the Emmanuel Olisadebe Euros, which start this Friday.

Tziolis has been confirmed as definitely going to not be going to the tournament in Poland and Ukraine after a public vote found 66 per cent in favour that ‘T-land’ should keep the player.

The Greek midfielder was awarded to the team as a forfeit under the Titus Bramble Ruling when their manager was found to be deliberately making illegal bids at last week’s controversial auction.

The T-land boss believes the appeal’s failure was not due to ‘footballing reasons’, and slammed rival managers as the team gathered at Victoria coach station ahead of travelling to Eastern Europe.

“I’m naturally dissapointed, but will stand by the decision, although I’m concerned that it hasn’t been made for footballing reasons.

“Testiculadewland wish to emphasise again their apology for any misunderstanding. Tactical brambling is culturally-acceptable in the land of testicles.

“Criticism from Euro Euro Bunga Tour is unfair: this is the same fella that brambled on Neil Lennon. I’m really sorry for what happened and for the disappointment I’ve caused the Kenna, and particularly to the Chairman, whom I respect and whom I love.”

 Kenna HQ claim the main reason the appeal had lost was due to managers wanting to stamp out chances of ‘tactical Brambling’ affecting future auctions.

“We’re making excellent progress establishing a Kenna Ethics Committe. FIFA have a similar mechanism, and they’re the model of integrity,” said the Chairman, from Jack Warner’s Caribbean yacht.

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Just FEMEN

Manager: Clare

Nationality: Scotland

Domestic club side: in between jobs (recently sacked from Polonia Forsyth)

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 9th (out of 15)

4-4-2

Stekelenburg, M Holland £13m
Evra, P France £9m
Sivok, T Czech Republic £3.5m
Agger, D Denmark £3m
O’Shea, J Rep of Ireland £4m
Schweinsteiger, B Germany £17m
Quaresma, R Portugal £4m
Modric, L Croatia £10m
Fàbregas, C Spain £10m
Balotelli, M Italy £19m
Elmander, J Sweden £7m
Total £99.5m
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Bwing on the Euwos

Manager: Denney

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Young Boys of Kilburn

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 5th (out of 15)
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: 4th (out of eight)

4-4-2

Buffon, G Italy £19m
Ramos, S Spain £20m
Cole, A England £14m
Kadlec, M Czech Republic £10m
Anyukov, A Russia £10m
Mandžukic, M Croatia £14m
Blaszczykowski, J Poland £3m
Elm, R Sweden £0.5m
Götze, M Germany £0.5m
Ben Arfa, H France £0.5m
Kuyt, D Holland £8m
Total £99.5m
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Utoya Island XI

Manager: Sholto

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Judean Peoples’ Front

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 8th (out of 15)
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: Last (out of eight)

4-4-2

Given, S Rep of Ireland £3.5m
Mertesacker, P Germany £0.5m
Ranocchia, A Italy £0.5m
Antonsson, M Sweden £0.5m
Lovren, D Croatia £0.5m
Young, A England £26m
Nasri, S France £16m
Alonso, X Spain £3m
Dzagoev, A Russia £14m
Ronaldo, C Portugal £28m
Løvenkrands, P Denmark £0.5m
Total £93m
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Chernobyl Forlov

Manager: Aiden

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Hairy Fadjeetas

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 2nd (out of 15)

4-4-2

Pletikosa, S Croatia £0.5m
Chiellini, G Italy £12m
Rami, A France £7m
Torossidis, V Greece £0.5m
Safari, B Sweden £0.5m
Walcott, T England £5m
Mata, J Spain £0.5m
Obraniak, L Poland £0.5m
Hunt, S Rep of Ireland £0.5m
Gomez, M Germany £32m
Huntelaar, KJ Holland £22m
Total £81m
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