Defending champion’s auction meltdown

August auction 2016

Questions are being asked whether the Young Boys manager can handle the pressure of defending his Kenna League title after a dramatic auction meltdown yesterday (13 August).

Towards the end of proceedings the Young Boys boss took exception to a forfeit by the league treasurer, who lost midfielder Eden Hazard and half of the £33m paid for him.

“Let me say this. I will take this punishment right now, but for the future, for the good of the Kenna and it’s integrity this needs to change!” exclaimed the Young Boys manager as part of 10-minute rant.

The treasurer had been penalised for going over budget. Under the Titus Bramble ruling his most expensive player – Hazard – was removed and replaced with alcoholic Welsh paedophile Mark Bridger.

The Young Boys manager’s argument ran the treasurer would benefit from Brambling so late in the auction, by taking an additional £16.5m into October’s transfer window.

Until 2012 managers losing a player ‘on a Bramble’ received their full value back.

In response to the acrimonious tactical Brambling incident four years ago, league rules changed so half the value of a forfeit player was confiscated. According to the Young Boys manager, this is not discouragement enough.

“Should we all just be tactical Bramblers? What happened? This used to be such a dignified event,” he spluttered amongst much finger waving as the rest of the league quietly waited for it to pass so they could get on with the auction (1 minute in, below).

The Tactical Brambler himself committed the only other significant Bramble of the day, buying two Leicester City players and losing Jamie Vardy.

The striker was replaced by Rose West.

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.